It’s December. You might be saving all your goals for next month, making a New Year’s resolution to strike up a conversation with that girl you’ve longed for from afar. But take the plunge right now. Give it a shot. Go right up and talk to her. Hey, all you need is something to say.
If the two of you have never talked before, you might have to get a little creative.
Try this: Comment on something the two of you have in common.
- Are you two in a class together? “Hey. Have you started the paper yet on The Great Gatsby? I have no idea where to start.”
- Wearing the same school spirit gear? “Wow, I love your fashion sense,” while pointing out your own threads.
- Just got out of an assembly? “I can’t decide if it’s worse to actually go to class or sit through these things.”
- See her around somewhere you frequent? “Hey. I always see you at the YMCA don’t I? Have you tried any of the pilates classes there? Are they worth it?”
- Got the same item in the lunch line? “Obviously you have an exquisite taste in food.”
Sure you’re at risk of sounding like a doofus. But as long as you can take her response and start a conversation she’ll forget about how silly you sound at first.
Or This: Ask her a question.
- If you’re on your way somewhere, ask for directions. “Hey, which was is Mr. Ecanama’s office?”
- If you’re confused about something going on, get her to clarify. “How are you doing so well on these pop quizzes? Can you help me out with trinomials?”
- If she seems familiar with whatever it is you’re both doing ask her to help you out. “Hey can you help me with the table-saw. I’m convinced I’m about to cut my finger off.”
Just make it seem sincere. You have to be natural or she’s likely to see right through your scheme. And make sure it’s not something too obvious or you will only succeed in looking like a total idiot.
But not this: Don’t just compliment her.
- Unless you’re serious AND it can lead to something else to talk about don’t just shower her in praise. If you’re trying to flatter her with empty compliments she will think you’re a fake. “Oooh. Mami you look so fly today. What are you doing this Friday?” Sounds like something a douche would say, right? Don’t let it be you.
Only applaud her on things that are unique to her or that you find particularly interesting (if she’s got a T-shirt with an inside joke from a show you watch, if you just saw her kick butt in a basketball game last weekend, or if she’s got especially fresh kicks and you want to find out where she got them from). This way you can steer the conversation to something else rather than creepily worshiping her the entire time.
And definitely not this: Don’t be creepy.
- Don’t let on that you’ve been looking at her from across the room the whole time if that’s the case. “I watch you look out the window in History class each day. I’m Josh.”
- Don’t ask anything too personal or prying right away. “So do you hook up with lots of guys?”
- And don’t let out anything about yourself that makes you sound like a dweeb. “Have you been to the new Battlestar Galactica exhibit at the Sci Fi museum yet?”
We’ve already been taught not to talk to strangers so you’re only making it harder for yourself if on top of that you seem strange.
Baby steps. Let this convo last only a minute or so. Then escape with something like, “alright I have to run to (insert name of place here), nice chatting.” Now go out and get started!