So you’ve already learned the DOs and DON’Ts of breaking up with her, but how do you think she’ll react? Even if you think you know how she’s going to take this, break ups are the worst part of relationships and are riddled with landmines that might blow your face off when you least expect it. Be prepared for anything.
If she flips out…
Maybe she has a short fuse, and upon hearing your decision to dump her she turns into a raging demon-spawn, foaming at the mouth with anger. Don’t play her game. Don’t fight fire with fire. Try and politely fend her off with one of these lines:
- “I don’t think we should hurt each other any more than we have to, okay?”
- “Can we try not to say things we might regret later?”
- “Can we try to be civil about this?”
- “I know this isn’t comfortable but can we just stay calm and discuss this?”
- “Let’s not go down that road.”
They won’t lull her into a calm, but it might help to diffuse the situation slightly. If her wrath is unending, excuse yourself and walk away. Don’t be spineless and just sit through her hate speech like a limp punching bag. Stay dignified, tell her you’re not standing for this and explain this is only more proof this relationship isn’t working.
If she breaks down…
Here come the waterworks. It’s not uncommon for even the strongest of us to crumble during a break up. Be kind but stick to your guns. Even if your first urge is to hold her and comfort her through this – resist. Bending to her bawling will only give her false hope. The most physical contact you should give is touching her forearm with your flat hand in that weird, yucky yet totally appropriate, adult therapist kind of way. Remember: be empathetic. Tell her you understand this might be painful but don’t change your mind just because she gets emotional.
If she’s okay with it…
Don’t get too excited, this scenario is rare. If you get lucky sometimes two people respectfully recognize when a relationship has run its course and must come to an end. Remember the basic Do’s and Don’ts even if things are going well. You don’t want to say something that makes the break up take a sudden turn for the worst. Keep your guard up. Even if it doesn’t happen initially you could be in store for a phone call at any moment with a break down or freak out.