If you even think there is a chance of you having sex in your future, it’s time to find some condoms. They keep you safe from sexually transmitted illness and they help you put off being a daddy for later when changing diapers and buying baby food seems like more fun than hanging around with your friends.

If you’re having sex, you’re using condoms. If you plan on having sex, you’re practicing putting on condoms. If you have a dick and you even like the idea of putting it in or around a vagina, you’re putting a condom on it.

So how do you get them?

Maybe one day you will live in an America where your parents, neighbors, and local store clerks are totally cool with teen sex. But at the time of publishing this, in most places, that isn’t always the case. You can get all sweaty handed and nervous, or you can rise to the challenge and approach the problem with the stealth of a ninja, sneaking by the guards to score the prized possessions.

1. Look for easy access – Look for a shop that doesn’t keep their condoms behind a case or counter. You might not be up for asking a clerk yet to help you out and it keeps you in that lane for longer than you want to be.
2. Bring a friend – If you have someone with you than you have a scapegoat. Bump into an awkward neighbor or someone from church and “heyyyy, yeah you’re just helping out your friend with this.”
3. Go simple – Now is not the time to really read into the details on the back of every box. You don’t need any bells and whistles, just something dependable. Latex, lubricated, nothing with spermicide on it.
4. Buy a few other things – Go for a magazine (something big to cover the box on the conveyer) and maybe some snack food. Nothing expensive, just enough so you and the clerk can pretend you didn’t only come in here for condoms.

Even better than buying condoms is getting them for free! Check back soon to find out how and where.