Usually, HUSH would frown on fast food as a date destination (especially if it’s a first date). It’s unoriginal, can make you feel gross, and doesn’t display the extra effort that usually leads to success – a picnic in the park is cheaper and more romantic or cooking something together leads to a whole evening of fun.

BUT there is an exception to every rule. And when there isn’t much cash after you’ve cracked your piggy bank maybe a fast food date makes the most cents (ha, get it?) for you. Here is how you make this date a time to remember, rather than an interaction you’re dying to forget.

• Only go at her suggestion. Float the idea out there at most.  If you put this on the table first you might just look cheap and unimaginative – or just like an outright pig. If it’s her idea, roll with it. But you can’t be asking girls to accompany you to the golden arches and expect them to be wooed, can you?
• Go Big or Go Home. You didn’t come here to get that nasty salad full of limp leaves or just a serving of fries. Sure, fast food is usually awful for you. But as long as you’re not indulging too often you might as well go all out. Have fun with it and make it a feast.
• Napkins. Napkins. Napkins. Sure, our last tip was about pigging out but that doesn’t mean you can make a mess of yourself. Be prepared for any stray sauce or slippery spills and keep a number of napkins on hand. Ketchup covered cheeks don’t exactly scream “kiss me.”
• Have fun with it. People watch. Talk about how you used to go here all the time growing up. Play with your food. Really enjoy the fact that you’re kicking it at a dumpy fast food chain.
• Bring Gum. Your breath gon’ be rank and junk in yo’ teef. Chomp down on some Trident and freshen things up.
• Hooking Up Afterwards is Out. We said go big or go home – that means commitment. The food was the main attraction of the evening. After consuming it you’ll both feel too gross to get busy. Trying to ignore this will most likely result in awkward farts (or holding of farts), grotesquely burping mid-make out, and feeling like you’re both greasy in a less-than-sexy kind of way.
• Walk it off or give in and just become a giant lump. Although hooking up is (by our recommendation) you can still make things more intimate with some quality time together. If your tummies are full, suggest a long walk, giving you time to digest, talk, hold hands, and just enjoy being around each other. Or pursue the couch potato path and just decide to sit and marvel in your own fast food eating awesomeness. It can be really nice to share being a lump with someone else, and will help turn the two of you into two peas in a pod (deep fried peas in a pod of bacon).

So dig in. Or… you know… don’t. There are plenty of other things to do.