HJ’s Explained

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

In America the HJ is a sexual milestone. There is a belief among dudes that handjobs are only a part of growing into being a sexually active adult and that they’re not something you’ll be interested in forever. Hey, the deed didn’t earn its slang term “old-fashioned” for nothing.

But whether you’re attracted to the act just for now, forever, or not at all, it’s definitely an issue worth thinking about.

In the 90s the surgeon general Joycelyn Elders gave a nod to teaching young people about masturbation and “mutual masturbation” (the official term for hand jobs and fingering when someone else is involved) and lost her (real) job for doing so. It’s been a hot-button issue ever since but people haven’t stopped doing it.

Although imaging Elders giving you an HJ is an easy way to become disinterested, she was on to something. While other sexual activities might put you at a risk of STI transmission or pregnancy, a hand job is a really safe way to play.

And even if it has an amateurish reputation, mutual masturbation can be a way to explore giving and receiving pleasure, show your partner what you’re comfortable with and makes you feel good, and maybe even participate in one of those notorious high school things that some become nostalgic about later on.

Some dudes aren’t interested. That’s okay. Some think they can do it better themselves and that’s fine. But if you and her are fooling around, being clear and communicating to her what you like and what you don’t like is a way to build intimacy between the two of you as well as enjoy the experience all the more thoroughly.

We’ve told you how awesome lube is in the past, and it can probably help with a handy. It’s definitely the best choice but seeing as you’re probably on the receiving end of this in your basement, your car, or a house party, you might not have any around. Using hand lotion can help and if you accidentally leave it around you can just say you were feeling ashy. Try not to improvise. Grabbing at some sort of cooking oil can make a mess or a wash from your shower might have microbeads that wind up treating your johnson like a cheese grater.

The biggest issue is probably figuring out where you finish. It’s more likely that she’ll opt for some tissues over a nasty old sock. But if you think ahead you can have a towel around for cleaning up afterward.

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