Don’t Say It: “…A guy like me”

Monday, December 5, 2011

Some of you may have been using the advice here on Hooking Up & Staying Hooked to find a girlfriend. We’ve written about everything from meeting girls, first dates, and showering her how special she is. With these words of wisdom and maybe a little luck you may have found yourself with a girl that you think is extraordinary. So don’t screw it up by saying something dumb like, I never woulda thought a girl like you would go for a guy like me.

There is no good way this line could be taken.

Sure you probably meant it as a compliment. This is good – you should definitely compliment someone you like. But this one just doesn’t cut it.

First of all it totally undercuts your awesome sense of confidence that you’ve worked so hard to build. Being in disbelief that you could ever woo her says that you think you’re not worthy. It says no matter how well you treat her or how awesome you actually are, even you think she could do better. She probably wasn’t thinking this at all – but now you’ve planted the seed.

On top of that, she’ll probably be offended that you think there is some categorical difference between a “girl like her” and a “guy like you.” As soon as those words leave your mouth you’ll have to back-peddle and try not to offend her more as you explain what you meant when you said, “girl like her.” At this point sealing your mouth shut and curling up into a ball will be equally effective as anything you could say.

Maybe what you meant is something like:

  • I feel so lucky to be with someone so awesome.
  • Isn’t it great that we found each other?
  • I’m really glad we’re together. Like really really really glad.

You can get the meaning across without digging yourself into a hole.

So whatever you do, Don’t Say It!

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