The best advice I ever received about girls and periods was from a talented lesbian poet Staceyann Chin who informed all the men in the audience, “Talk to your girlfriend when she is on her period. If you don’t, I will and then I will steal her from you.”
A lot of guys make a big deal when it’s “That Time of the Month” for their girlfriends. Even calling it “That Time of the Month” is a part of pretending periods are for some reason scarier than they actually are – so that will be the last time we use anything other than a science-y word to talk about her period.
Girls get periods. If you like girls, you are going to have to just accept (and hopefully one day embrace) this fact.
If your bio class hasn’t covered it yet, a period is a normal and healthy occurrence in a woman’s life that usually happens once a month when the lining of her uterus breaks down and the blood and tissue flow out through her vagina. Each woman’s period is slightly different and can last from 3 to 7 days.
Too many guys freak out when they learn their girlfriend is menstruating. This is stupid and doesn’t make anyone feel better about the situation. Even worse it’s no reason to run for the hills and avoid her body. In fact it is totally okay to hook up with your girlfriend when she is on her period.
When I tell guys this these are the questions I usually get and the responses I usually give:
Yes. Really. Grow up.
Isn’t it gross?
Bodily fluids are gross. There are bodily fluids involved in most sex acts (saliva, semen, pre-cum, natural vaginal lubrication). By this logic all sex is gross.
Won’t it make a mess if we fool around while she’s on her period?
If you two are trying different sexual acts this isn’t the only time you might make a mess. Put a towel down underneath you whenever you are doing anything. Wash your hands before and after. It’s not that much more complicated than when she’s not on her period.
Does my girlfriend being on her period mean we can have sex without a condom?
No. Your girlfriend can still get pregnant if you have sex while she is on her period if using a condom was your only means of pregnancy prevention.
I don’t know that my girlfriend would be into that.
That’s okay. She doesn’t have to be. Lots of girls don’t like doing anything sexual when they’re on their period. It’s not your job to get psyched about it – just stop acting like such a squeamish baby about something that happens to her pretty frequently. Ask her what she wants and try to be open minded and willing to her answer.
If you’re still not thrilled about her period, maybe you could try thinking of it as a relatively reliable signal that your girlfriend isn’t pregnant and you can continue avoiding diaper costs. Whatever you decide to do, the guy who treats your girlfriend better than you next time she’s menstruating has a good chance of stealing her from you.