From: Will

So this past week I have been talking to this awesome girl who is fun to hang around and is really cute. We have pretty much talking non stop this whole week and so I decided to take her out to dinner Wednesday night. She said she didn’t have much time to hang out that night but said she would love to go to dinner so it was kind of a date. Anyways, when the date came around and I thought it was fine. Kissed her good night and we both went our way. The next day rolled around she barely talked to me.

I was worrying and got me thinking about what I could have done wrong. I came to realize it was maybe because I didn’t pay for her dinner. It’s not the fact that I didn’t want to but more of the fact that I couldn’t because I am broke. But seeing as it was the first date I feel like I should have done it so that was the mistake I think. Anyways after a full day of barely talking to me she texts me the next day saying she wants to apologize for being so short with me and that she was in a really bad mood that day. I tell her its fine and that I’m here for her. Anyways after that conversation she started to become short with me again. I guess this is where my question comes around, what should I do about this? Another thing to note is that she is acquaintances with a girl I messed up with and am not on her good side. So another guess is maybe she thinks I am not committed? Or maybe I am over thinking everything? Please help.

H.U.S.H. Response:

There are a lot of things going on in this question so we’ll want to break down my response into three different points.

1. While H.U.S.H. absolutely advocates learning from your mistakes – we must urge you, please no Monday Morning Quarterbacking when it comes to girls and dating. Don’t fret about how a date went and stew in the past trying to pick out the precise moments in time where you could have made things go differently. None of that will help you with the future, so in that respect you are over-thinking this.
2. There’s a chance she’s not that into you. This is a lesson everyone has to re-learn the hard way every so often. Sometimes no matter how much of a gentleman you are or how romantically perfect you can be, it might be that the spark just isn’t there.
3. A lot of us in high school can be really hot-and-cold. Relationships are still pretty new. Our hormones are pushing and pulling us in different emotional directions on a daily (or sometimes hourly) basis. It seems like she can’t figure out for herself how she feels and how she wants to act. This is a red flag. If you decide that there is enough interesting about this girl to make it worth her unpredictability then go for it. Otherwise I’d say maybe she isn’t ready for a relationship, even if only casual. You’re going to have to put up with her emotional pendulum pretty often – so is it really worth it?

Hope some of this helps,
H.U.S.H.

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