From Gabe:

Basically this girl chased me for about a year but i didnt have any feelings for her more than a friend , we went out on 2 dates and she liked me more but i still wasnt sure , and at partys she would always come over to me and id try to shake her off. Well eventually we got into a relationship that lasted 2 months and she suddenly went all blunt and wouldnt reply to texts etc and all this made me want her and when she broke up she said she just looks at me as a bestfriend but i said “i dont think we can be friends” and i never heard from her again then i text her 3 weeks later and she was blunt then posted on twitter “dont try talk to me now after all this time , its over done and finished” im so confused how can she go from being clingy to not wanting me?

H.U.S.H. Response:

If there is anything I learned in high school, perhaps even one of the major motivations for making a guide for guys like Hooking Up and Staying Hooked, it is how unpredictable teenage girls can be.  Sure guys can be complicated and irrational and send mixed signals too, but sometimes guys just feel completely lost when it comes to the unpredictability of girls. This situation is one that just about every guy has been through and that probably no one has figured out on the first try.

Before this situation makes you wind up like Ryan Gosling in the above clip from The Notebook, take a minute to think about some of the following things.

The Friend Zone is Tough – and in some cases just a white lie.

There is a good chance that when she said she views you as a best friend she wasn’t being entirely honest. This is sometimes just a nicer way of saying, “Maybe I’m not as attracted to you as I thought.” Don’t feel that torn up over it – there is a good chance you will say it so someone in the future. In reality, if she thought of you as a friend she would have given you the time to cool off and then welcomed you back after those three weeks to hang out together, have fun, and enjoy each other’s friendship. If she’s going to be fake like this you haven’t lost a good friend.

Don’t Get Caught Up in the Drama

For some reason everyone airs out their personal business on the internet. No matter what DO NOT join in and start some awkwardly personal twitter war in public. Try not to take it so seriously when someone else makes a move like this. They just haven’t figured out a more mature way of dealing with their issues yet.

Lots of us want what we can’t have. Maybe this explains her behavior.

It seems like the chase may have been more exciting to her than actually having a relationship. She was really into you when you were keeping her at arms length. But once she had you her interest sort of faded. This happens to a lot of us. When you’re in a relationship try to keep things exciting. Try and take things slowly letting the connection develop over time. You probably didn’t do anything wrong here. Sometimes losing interest once we have something just happens to us.

Go figure?

Sometimes there is no explanation. High school is weird and it drives all of us close to completely insane. We’re all hormonal, and unexpectedly horny at times, and inexplicably angry at other times, sometimes on top of the world and arrogant, other times desperate and dumb. Maybe one day with a little more maturity she’ll apologize for her behavior or maybe not. Don’t take anything someone does at this stage in life all that seriously. After a few years everyone looks back and realizes that they were acting like complete idiots most of the time.

Hope some of this helps,
H.U.S.H.

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