This little indie youtube film from Ming H. has some truth to it that may tough to swallow. With some girls, no matter what your hopes and dreams might be, you’re probably never leaving The Friend Zone. But instead of moping about it like most guys do, Ming takes us to that brilliant realization that does get us the girl of our dreams:
As long as I keep saying, “Hi, my name is _______.”
Check out the video. Think about the patterns and recognize them in your own life. And no matter what don’t let rejection hold you back. Read on »
It only took Hollywood nearly a decade to catch on to the term Friends With Benefits (FWB). But now that they have they’re fixed on it like a soccer mom watching an episode of Oprah on the subject. With Friends With Benefits opening up next week (only six months after the exact same movie, No Strings Attached, was released) FWB is now a hot phrase again being annoyingly beat to death like that one friend who is still posting links to Rebecca Black’s Friday to your Facebook wall each week.
Let’s do some Q & A to help you get a grasp for the relationship framework that is Friends With Benefits.
How does it actually work?
Two people decide that they will get physically intimate (doing whatever dirty deeds they predetermine) without entering what they see as a romantic relationship. The benefits is the sexy times and friends is that you are friends not boyfriend and girlfriend.
How do you initiate it?
Sniff out some sexual tension. If you two are both whining over a dry spell or you’ve each mentioned how you find one another attractive, you might have an in. All you have to do is bring it up. It’s pretty easy now that there are two movies on the subject. You could also spring the idea during a boring lull of another activity. “Hey have you ever thought of fooling around a little? Just for fun? Nothing serious?”
Are you okay with rejection?
Are things going to get seriously awkward if you put this offer on the table? If so maybe you’re not ready for such a big leap. What can help is just a little confidence. Some guys will toss it out there as a joke, but this could lead to mixed signals and you’d never know if her answer was serious. Be okay with being turned down, but make sure you’re ready for her answer either way.
Do you have an exit strategy?
This is where most people slip up. There is no plan for what to do if one person becomes emotionally attached. There is no idea what to do if one of you finds someone else you’re interested in in the middle of this. There is no way for someone to say if they just aren’t interested anymore. Will feelings be hurt? Will wishes be respected? Will the two of you be okay when this is over? You’ve got to take some time when things start and talk out all these issues.
Is it worth it?
For some people yes. For others not at all. Some pairings use it as a unique opportunity to explore some things sexually. It can feel nice to try things with someone you already trust. It’s nice to recognize when you’re actually ready to date someone or not. Others wind up adding confusing emotions to what used to be an awesome friendship. Things can get weird and go wrong and bring on regrets. It’s up to the two of you to recognize if you can handle this and if the reward is worth the risk.
This is not the end of the world. Most trips to The Friend Zone (TFZ) are one way, non-refundable. You get there and you’re not getting out. But keep reminding yourself: This is not the end of the world.
Other guides out there will claim they can help you escape, help you show her that you really are what she’s looking for, help you become the type of guy she dates and not just hangs out with. Don’t believe it. You will only be getting your hopes up for nothing.
The best medicine is prevention. Keep your Read on »
HUSH has been a huge fan of Violet Blue and her work for a long time. Unfortunately, most of it is kind of “adults only” so we can’t exactly share it here on the site. BUT when we saw the Geek Flirting Cheat Sheet she came up with for SXSW we had to figure out a way to share it here.
Geeks UNITE! Although you can always read Hooking Up & Staying Hooked for helpful hints on getting girls no matter how nerdy you are, this cheat sheet that’s part of her project The Total Flirt is an amazing resource for embracing your geek and still getting the girl .
What’s worse than being rejected is being oblivious to the fact that she just shut you down. When it comes to girls, you’re going to run into some walls along the way – which shouldn’t be a big deal. Never take rejection personally – even if she wants you to. Just make sure you recognize it when it’s in front of you or you’ll look like a fool barking up the wrong tree.
Here’s ten telltale signs she’s brushing you off that, surprisingly, not every guy is savvy to. Recognize them in real life or be prepared to make a fool out of yourself. Read on »