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Hi there! I am Colin!

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How to not be a controlling boyfriend

Figuring out how to act in a relationship can be more complicated than AP Chem. The advice we get from adults usually doesn’t get more helpful than, “be a gentleman” (what does that mean?!). This means too often you have to figure it out as you go using the clues you gather from what you see and hear around you. But what sucks is the way other guys talk about how they act in relationships usually doesn’t match up to how they actually act. Most dudes talk a lot of game that if you actually followed would make you into a real nutjob.

The Message: Be In Control

The message we get is that we have to run the show. You have to know where your girl is, who she’s with, and what she’s up to all the time. This Message Sucks!

  • It’s not fun.
  • It’s not attractive.
  • It’s abusive.

Some guys will Read on »

She said let's just be friends

Stranger. Girl you know. Friend. Girlfriend. Ex.

It’s easy when a girl you know fits easily into one and only one of these categories. If only things always stayed that simple. These lines will blur, your relationships will take unexpected turns, and sometimes things will change in ways you don’t want them to.

So what do you do when a girl tells you she “just wants to be friends”? Read on »

Apparently not enough guys out there have the message. A girl’s body is not a plaything. They are not objects to be tossed around between friends at a party, nor silly things to be manipulated and photographed for laughs later on.

Too many women have been hurt when young men around them forgot this. Their lives have been damaged beyond imagination. Two high school guys in Stubenville, Ohio are in jail because of this. Three more from Northern California have been arrested in a different incident, and four others in yet another soon will be in Nova Scotia for being similarly thick-headed and not understanding this message. A girl’s body is not a plaything.

The big question is: What’s the difference between these guys and you? The answer: It’s up to you.

The harm and the pain Read on »

From: Toby

Hi, I am 15 and I haven’t had my first kiss yet. Can you help?

H.U.S.H. Response:

Read on »

Getting dumped sucks. In some cases, even being the one who breaks up with the other person sucks. Relationships can be enjoyable and when they end it sucks. But in most cases, a relationship that ended was meant to be finished. If it’s over, it’s over. And you have got to make sure you are okay with that.

One thing that lures us back to a broken relationship is remembering Read on »

Valentine’s Day is tomorrow. If you’re reading this that probably means you’re strapped for last minute ideas to show your girlfriend how much she means to you. There aren’t a lot of big things you can do with a 24-hour turn-around period. But that’s okay. You can be more serious about showing her how much she means to you by thinking small and being sincere.

There have been a lot of posts here on H.U.S.H. to help guys out in the gift-giving department before. Check out our Five Most Important Tips: Read on »

Everybody feels a little bit insecure. Sometimes lots of us feel like we don’t know how to act in certain social settings. Every now and then talking to a stranger or a pretty girl can be intimidating. Don’t let any of these things stand in your way. If you’re feeling shy it’s time to get over it.

If you want to feel confident talking to girls, it’s time to get comfortable in your own skin. Speaking to other people is a part of the game. The more you practice the better you’ll feel in the future.

We’ll start small with a homework assignment. You have one week to do the following five things. They are simple. There is very little risk. In many cases you don’t even have to come up with anything very original on your own. But once you do them you’ll learn what your strengths are when talking to people and feel less pressure the next time you’re talking to someone you’re attracted to. Read on »

HUSH is here to help you be a better guy. To do this, you’ve got to rid yourself of all the bad boy behaviors we often feel pressured to do. Take note of our ongoing series, Things Jerks Do, and avoid these actions. You’re not going to be perfect. But you certainly won’t be a jerk. Here it is, Volume 5: Read on »

Image source: girlshealth.gov

The what now? The Vulva. V-U-L-V-A! Lots of people refer to a woman’s sex parts as the “vagina” – but vagina is only one specific part of her internal reproductive anatomy. Don’t worry, we’ll explain the vagina soon enough, but let’s start with what you can see.

The vulva is everything outside the body you see between a woman’s legs.

Outer Labia: This is the fatty tissue on either side of the vaginal opening. “Labia” is a really old word for lips. That might help you remember it. Outer labia usually have hair.

Inner Labia: These are the small flaps of skin behind the outer labia. They can swell and get darker when she is turned on. They come in all different shapes and sizes. They are sensitive.

Different labia can make each woman look very different down there. This drawing gives a good example of the diversity that is out there.

Clitoris: Above the urethra, and the vaginal opening, this hides underneath the hood of skin that the inner labia form at the top. Because there are so many nerve endings here, this spot is usually very sensitive and can make a woman feel very good if touched in the right way. Each woman has her own right way.

Urethra: Same as in boys, this is where pee comes out.

Vaginal Opening: This is a different hole in the female reproductive anatomy that is for sex, menstruation, and child birth. Things a girl wants to go into the vagina go in, blood during her period and babies when she’s giving birth come out.

Important things to keep in mind:

  • Every woman’s is different. Shape, size, smell, touch, taste, color, hair, sensitivity, wetness, etc. If you get to interact with one, don’t think the next one will do everything the same.
  • Some people make a big deal out of the clitoris – like all you have to do is poke at it and it makes a girl orgasm. (Sidenote: don’t poke at it! This is not the Staples Easy Button!) Sorry, but everyone should always ask how someone likes to be touched and where. Some girls won’t know and that’s okay.
  • You don’t get to critique what she looks like down there. Any negative comments would be the equivalent of her telling you that you had a nasty looking little weenie. Try to find the beauty in each!
  • If you and she become close enough and have an intimate connection, you could ask if you can just look and appreciate her vulva.
  • Ask her what she likes it to be called. We have a lot of bad words for the vagina/vulva and she may not like hearing them. If you’re going to refer to it you should use the word she prefers.

Learn more about the vulva other places at sites like Planned Parenthood, Scarleteen, or Wikipedia. The more you know about her parts the more she will appreciate your expertise.

Still have questions? Ask them here.

From: Joey

So I used to be very friendly with this girl in the grade below me for a while, but after some necessary class changes I began seeing her less in school so we never really committing to being anything more than casual acquaintances. However, I’ve always been interested so last night I pulled the trigger and we hooked up at a party, nothing special just second base. I wouldn’t mind pursuing this further to see where things go whether that means a relationship or just more action, so how should I go about doing this?  24-hour rule? Longer? Call or text? Being older than her carries a lot of weight at my school, so I think I have an advantage there. Thanks for the well-appreciated help!

H.U.S.H. Response: Read on »

We want girls to think we’re hot. We want them to say “yes” to our date invitations. We want them to tell their friends about how cool we are. The guys with all the sweet gear and good looks make it seem so easy. But you don’t need all of that for success with the ladies. We’ll help you do without all the fancy extras in our ongoing series, You Don’t Need.

Nice Car? Nope. Not what you need to get girls.

Yes. It is fun to cruise around in a shiny ride. But the wheels don’t do the wooing. It’s the who drives that does. Girls won’t make out with an exhaust pipe. They won’t talk to a carburetor on Skype. Just because you don’t have a cool car doesn’t mean you can’t rev her engine. Read on »

Hooking Up & Staying Hooked has a mission: Give guys the info and advice they need for success in sex and relationships. This would not be complete without giving you a guide to all the body parts involved in getting intimate.

The decision to hook up and how far to go is up to you and your partner. Don’t rush into it. Think about it. Take it seriously. Each time. And if you do decide to fool around and explore each other’s bodies, you AND she are going to have way more fun if you know how these bodies work.

Every body is different but you should know basics of fronts, backs, insides, and outsides. So check back in for our explanation of each important body part (his & hers) that will come into play. This is the Essential Anatomy to Hooking Up & Staying Hooked. Read on »

Some people make resolutions at the start of a new year – a promise to themselves to do something new, do something better, or to be happier with themselves. Here at HUSH we believe that if you’re going to improve yourself or your situation any day is a good day to start. But if you have a sex or relationships related resolution for 2013 we are here to help you out.

Figuring out female anatomy? We’ll give you some guidance.

Getting a girlfriend? Look out for our advice.

Plan to be the Best Boyfriend Ever? We’ll support you.

Want more confidence? We’ve got your back.

2013 is your year. So stay tuned through facebook. Tell a friend about the website. Feel free to ask a question of your own. And most importantly, keep reading. Hooking Up & Staying Hooked is here to help. Read on »

From: Frank

So, I met this person and we flirt and talk all the time. Except we are two very awkward people. When I asked her out she initially said yes, but when I asked her what she wanted to do, she said “I really like you, but I think it would be just too awkward”. She is scared about the awkwardness. What should I do?

H.U.S.H. Response:

Read on »