The Bases

Guys used to keep track of how far they got with girls using baseball metaphors. No one can keep track of which base is which anymore, so you’ll find information here on everything that goes under that ambiguous blanket term, “hooking up.”

Kissing

Being a bad kisser is a deal breaker. Make sure you’ve got your basics down or she will wind up telling all her friends that she just couldn’t handle the way you sucked face.

  • The Prep: Squeeze your lips together and poke just the very tip of your tongue out to wet the very middle of them. Make sure they’re not bone dry, but if you wet your whole lip you’re already on your way to Slobber City – gross. Try and have fresh breath. I know this isn’t always possible so if you’re feeling the inside of your mouth might be foul – DO NOT use tongue. (*Side note: I’m pretty sure my first kiss was with a mouthful of Cheeto dust. Needless to say I never kissed her again).
  • The Position: Don’t go in directly. Make sure for an initial kiss your nose goes just directly to the side of hers. Don’t close your eyes until your noses are centimeters away – any earlier and you’re at risk of missing your mark. Your lips should pucker to the same position you’d use to whistle, but again, don’t do this until just before you land.
  • The Connection: You want to press your lips into hers gently, but with conviction. Don’t lean in so quickly that you head butt her, but don’t connect so lightly that she doesn’t know you’re there. If you want this to be more than a peck, linger for just a moment after the first connection and move into a motion.
  • The Motion: Hold your lips open just slightly. Now pucker them as much as you would if you were sucking soda through a large straw. DO NOT pucker them as much as you would if you were taking an obnoxious MySpace mirror pic. Next close them lightly like you’re holding a thermometer under your tongue. Now release and return your lips back to open just slightly. This is your basic rhythm. Vary the pace from time to time but NEVER go too fast – if it feels like you’re competitively chewing in a hotdog eating contest you are going to quickly!

Proper Handling

In football, if you’re running with the ball they tell you to keep your feet moving to help you score. If your makeout session has gotten hot and heavy you’ll discover success applying the same strategy with your hands. But you can’t just go flailing about like you’re blindly looking for a remote underneath your couch. You’re going to need some fancy handwork if you want to seem sexy.

  • Privacy Please. Make sure the two of you are alone. PDA that gets this intense can be barf-tastic for everyone besides yourself.
  • Slow Down. Don’t move your hands in a frenzied panic or you will totally perv her out.
  • Respect the Flyswatter. You reach for her rack – your hand is slapped away. You go to grab her booty – again your hand is pushed away. You’ve been hit by the flyswatter, the girl who shoots down your nimble-fingered attempts with a flick of the wrist. If you try and push your luck you’ll come off as a punk. Whenever you get resistance move your hand away from where it’s landed. Only touch where she wants you too and soon enough she’ll urge your hands to travel further. Try prematurely for a handful and she’ll have you put to the curb.
  • Just Ask. Avoid being flyswatted by asking her what feels good. “Is this okay” is an easy thing to ask when you come up for air.
  • Mix it up. Never repeat one motion over and over like you’re petting a dog or after a while she will feel like one. You are too young for this sort of role-play already. Vary pressure – just never push into her like you’re kneading dough.

Related Advice

Still looking to round some more bases? Need some more helpful hints to make your hook ups hotter than hot? Before you and she go any farther read related posts here.